Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Calling All Jackalopes

Ladies and gentleman-

The winds of change have swept across the internet and blown off the Hat of Secrecy from its perch atop the Bald Spot of Glory. No longer can I keep secret the most important thing in the history of mankind: THE FLYING JACKALOPE TRACK CLUB.

What is the Flying Jackalope Track Club, you ask? Once closed to the general public, the Jackalopes are a secretive organization of distance runners scattered throughout the country (though originating in the Northeast). The only proof of the Club's existence is a few notes on dyestat signatures- which, of course, is enough only to fuel massive rumors and widespread speculation about the true nature of the club.

Now, for the first time ever, the Flying Jackalope Track Club is accepting applications from the population at large. Once, membership in the Club was limited to a select few who unknowingly earned the right to be invited to our facebook group. Now, anyone who emails myself, Head Coach-For-Life, Agent, and Co-Founder, or Geoff Trethewey, Head Trainer, Equipment Manager, and Co-Founder, with a brief resume is welcome to call themselves a Jackalope.

Think you have what it takes? Here's some more information:

The Flying Jackalope Track Club is the brainchild of Craig MacPherson and Geoff Trethewey and is committed to the development of runners at a grass roots level.

Becoming a Jackalope and adopting the mantle of the horns is more than just donning a sweet-ass uniform for road races and unattached competitions. It's more than getting more girls than any group of skeletal, awkward boys should have any business getting. It's even more than an excellent feel for hyperbole and ironically irrelevant humor. No, being a Jackalope is much more than the sum of these things

Being a Jackalope is about unleashing the mythical jackalope within you; it's about recognizing that you can run like the wind and still mess stuff up with your baller horns.

Jackalopes are devoted to three core values: 1) a commitment to running and self-improvement, no matter the level at which a Jackalope competes, 2) an abiding love for the sport of running that manifests itself in numerous acts of charity and good will, and, most importantly, 3) the ability to TAKE A FUCKING JOKE and not be a lame, bland runner who shits on everyone and takes himself way too seriously. Unfortunately, this last value discounts many avid letsrun posters from joining. However, a true Jackalope is not daunted by the fact that without the acerbic, cynical, and unrealistic letsrunners behind the club, it has little chance to thrive and will in fact probably be bashed mercilessly. Jackalopes DO NOT tolerate the following: 1) whining 2) unnecessary bashing 3) being a bitch 4) being a moron and 5) not being able to take a joke.

This is not a club out to make money in any way. Any gear (uniforms, etc) will be offered strictly at COST- we will not make a penny off our brothers and sisters of the Horn. We make a point to publish the cost of anything (again, uniforms or any other gear) to our members and include how we calculate shipping to ensure no member is taken advantage of.

Interested applicants: please send me an email at with a resume that should include omething you have done personally to serve/enhance the sport in the last six months (volunteered at a meet, helped out a HS team, worked for Flotrack, etc). If you were paid to do it, it still counts. Be creative, be funny, be irreverent. Also, I should point out that if Geoff or myself know you, an email that says "Craig, don't be a dick- let me in and tell me how much a uniform costs" will suffice. There is no cost to join, save perhaps small bits of your own dignity (all in the name of good fun, though!)

Until then, good running, everyone!

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